What the fuck do you want? (Whilst smoking Surreal blend, and the Harmony tea in hand I decided to write you a little note. No, it’s not a love note. It’s a get-fucking-real-and-manifest-some-shit-note!)

I’m am pretty sure most of us are not in a state of what the fuck do I want. I mean, look at us, walking around with rubbish masks in the heat of fucking summer, not knowing where or why or what the fucking fuck is going on. So, moon child, ask yourself: where do I want to go? I am here now, in this time and not so awesome space/place, but where am I going? Am I living my best life? Is this what I have TRULY what I want and is this the place where I want to be? I can only here speak for my little purple soul, I know that sometimes I think that I want something, but I am subconsciously having the resistance thing going on inside my head. And it honestly fucks with everything. And I mean, everything. 

Here is a public service announcement brought to you Herbology. Wake up mofo- you can’t manifest things unless you (and only you!) have a true desire for them. Plain and fucking simple as that. No bullshit, no wizardry vibes involved, it all depends on YOU. You have to be clear on what you want. You can burn all the sage, drown your sorrows in white wine (red for winter) and still be stuck. Don’t you think it’s time to get unstuck and unfuck yourself?

So, I decided to do a little exercise to prove my point and to show you I’m not bullshitting. This is how this fuckery works.

Exhibit A:

I moved to Joburg in 2009 for work. I was completing my media internship at an agency (that shall not be named). I decided that working there was my golden ticket to stardom in the media world. Yeah right. I would still go back to visit friends in Pretoria and enjoyed my time there, but as soon as I was driving on the N1 towards Sin City, I felt a sense of relief washing over me. I was not sure why I was feeling this way, because why would I love the Joburg skyline and energy more than my cozy little sheltered life in Joburg? No fucking way. This shit can’t even be possible. My plan was to move back to Pretoria anyways after finishing my internship in Joburg. But why did it never happen? Was it because I was not really sure? Newsflash bro, it was because you were in two minds. Newsflash: when we honestly want something, you can’t have any doubts. You can’t dwell in two minds. This is not how the universe works. That much I can tell you. You can’t fuck with her. She knows. She is like your ouma that can spot the stolen Quality Street chocolate in your stomach. 

So, here is a test for yourself. If you won the Powerball lotto with R950 million, what would you do? 

I know for a fact that I won’t move back to Pretoria. If you can be anywhere in this world, where would you be? Would you invest more in your health, move away or explore the world? This is the type of questions we need to ask ourselves. What would we be doing? I would settle my bond, sort my tax out for fucking once and live my best life with my family and my friends I have in Joburg. I’ll smoke copious amounts of weed, drink spritzers and focus only on my soul work. 

Ok, let me get real and tell you what to do, as my little test above actually don’t help us one fucking bit. (It’s nice to dream, right?) 

  1. Make a list of what you think you want. We all want a lot of things. 
  2. Know your soul. Meditate/Pray get still and look inside your heart. Look at your desires, what you need in life, and where you are at. This little exercise is best done under the full moon with a cup of tea and some incense burning. (Note to self: 31/10/2020 is full moon) 
  3. How can you incorporate your dreams into a plan that you can work towards? (If you are anything like me, have some Party Caps to get the creative juices flowing.) Write it down, journal or make a vision board. Use your right brain for a fucking change. 
  4. Look inside yourself and your motives. Why is this so important to you? 
  5. And MANIFEST! 

I know I make it sound so simple and we all know it takes some real soul work and some real fucking honesty. But it’s not impossible. Just ask yourself, What the fuck do you want?